Insomnia. Got it again. It must be tracking me. Like a demented bloodhound. This means I’m going to sit here tonight. Out in the living room and for who knows how long. Maybe I should just sit here and talk to myself, as in….Hello brain. I’m here again….Yep. I think I’ll talk to myself. There’s nobody else here. No back talk. Just me. Sitting by myself. In the dark.
Sometime I wonder about myself, how I can get myself into situations that are going to make me miserable. Like camping. Now I have nothing against camping but if there is a motel around and my car hasn’t broken down in the middle of a national forest, I’m going to go with the motel. One without bedbugs, please.
It’s the middle of the night- 2 AM precisely- and I can’t sleep. I’m sitting in the dining room, in the dark, and thinking. Thinking … Thinking hard… Cerebral night sweats is what I call it. What else can you do if you’re in the dark? And besides, there’s lots to think about. Assuming you are all alone. (If you’re not alone, there are other things to do, depending on who you are with and how much trouble you want to get into.)
Tom Brown is a cat. He belongs to Maggie and Howard Millus. But he thinks otherwise. This is just one of his several personas.
This week I had an important reminder that I was not immortal. One of Murphy’s Laws hit me right upside my head: “If everything is going right, you must have overlooked something.” The reason for all this rumination: I had a health issue. Now it didn’t kill me, but for a while I thought I was going to die and I may have even wished I could. All because of kidney stones.
I love going to Home Depot and Lowe’s. Almost more than Macy’s or Nordstrum’s… I can’t say Neiman Marcus because I don’t have the big bucks for that store. And besides, I can’t wear a size 0 or size 2. These days I’m more into home improvement. I look at interior design magazines and I get fantasies – fantasies what my house could really look like. Fantasies of how I could keep my husband, Howard, busy, one project after another…forever.
Sometimes I wish I had a microscope. I could open up new worlds, worlds unseen to my naked eye. (My eyes aren’t completely naked. Sometimes I wear glasses or contacts.) But maybe I don’t want what I am wishing for. Maybe I wouldn’t want to see what I would see.
This was one of those days. Would you believe I have another goth toe? Goth toe??? You’ve never heard of that? A goth toe is what you get when you injure your toe, the nail or rest of it, and it turns black. This is not to be confused with yellow or grunge toe which is when your toenail gets infected with fungus.
Anybody in South Florida who has a garage knows what this is about. A garage? Just a place for parking your car? Maybe. It’s definitely not a cellar. Cellars in South Florida fill up with water. It would be like having an indoor swimming pool, albeit a dirty, disgusting one.
It’s been a week since Mother’s Day and I think I’m finally over it. I felt like a total failure on Mother’s Day. I read all those blogs and newspaper articles about what wonderful, endearing things good mothers do for their children. Things I never did.