10 Seconds by Maggie Millus

There are at least 10 things I will not think about in my last 10 seconds of life. I usually don’t have enough time for that kind of nonsense, and hopefully I will continue to exist for more than 10 seconds after I write this. But because I like lists, here are the big 10.

Way To Go by Maggie Millus

I woke up feeling morbid today. Like I had one foot in the grave. All because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had fallen asleep watching Channel Nada, Worthless TV. When I woke up, my addled brain began chasing lethargic butterflies of insomnia…

Silly Marital Issues by Maggie Millus

Vacuum cleaners. I hate housework, especially vacuuming the house. Not that I won’t do it, but before breakfast??? It was 6 o’clock this morning when Howard emerged from the bedroom. Instead of the usual sleepy trudge, he’s hauling ass to the utility closet and clutching his throat. At first I was impressed, I’ve never seen him so awake this early.

High School Reunion by Maggie Millus

Reunions bring out the worst in me. My facebook site is full of posts on an upcoming high school reunion. I haven’t decided whether or not to go. I just looked at the list of potential attendees and, even with the absentees, it will be a big group. It’s gonna take me days to go over this list.

Brain On Squirrel by Maggie Millus

Today, the mail brought an advertisement from a prominent medical bulletin. I won’t say who it was, but you’ve probably received at least a few, if not too many. They always arrive with some great reason why your health depends on subscribing to their newsletter.