I saw an ad for a little mini circular saw today. What a nifty gadget, and small too! I want one, I need one, and besides – it’s a personal thing. So I went to my husband, Howard, because I wanted to know what he thought of it. After all, he is the man-of-the-hour on tools, a Mr. Fix-it who never hires someone else to do repairs around here and does them all himself – when he does them. But anyway… I digress.

The conversation began like this:

Me: “Hey, Howard!”
Him: No reply.
I think he’s ignoring me, so I say again, but this time with a little more force and much louder: “HOWWWARD!”
Him: More silence and then finally a peevish: “What?”
I show him the picture.
He replies: “So?”
Then I say, “Oh man of so few words, what do you think of this?” And this time I point to the mini-saw in the picture.
Him: “So?”
Me: “I want one.”
Him: “Well… What do you want to saw?”
Me: “Things, lotsa things.”
He, looking worried, replies, “What kind of things?”
Me: “Oh you know, lots of things…big things, little things, old things…”
Him: “How many fingers do you want to lose?”
Me thinking to myself, How many do I really need?

He thinks the purchase is silly, unnecessary. And by doing this, he trivializes my needs. This sort of disagreement can disrupt a relationship no matter how stable it is. But, I’ll take my chances, I want this.
And I do have experience with cutting things. I’ve cut lots of things, whether intentional or not. It started in early childhood when I learned to play with scissors. Since then I’ve progressed to bigger and sharper cutlery like kitchen knives and meat cleavers. And I ‘ve never lost a finger.

This saw is better than a chain saw. There’s no chain to slip. I can’t count all the problems Howard has had with chainsaws. There are at least 3 of them sitting in the garage unrepairable (so he says). On the other hand, maybe a broken chainsaw or any other broken tool is just another excuse for a man to go shopping. I call it shopping, even though Howard would probably call it buying.

I really like the saw. It’s battery powered, has a 12V motor, 3 inch circular blade, and ….be still my heart -dual exhaust pipes. It saws wood, tile, dry wall, PVC pipe and is good for cutting in tight spaces. I could even use it on the cabriole legs of our dining room chairs. Each cabriole leg has two curves. On ours, the lower curve ends in an enlarged club shaped foot which has a high propensity for attacking the feet of people who don’t watch where they walk. The next time I break a toe on one, I’m going to do some amputations, and it won’t be any of me that gets amputated.

I like to cut in straight lines, so I could cut plywood, for a dog house. And then Howard could assemble it for me. But if I wanted to make a dog house, I would probably need a bigger saw. Because the boards might be too big or thick. I don’t think my mini circular saw would cut it, if you know what I mean.
So therefore, our next conversation will not really be about a purchase and whether or not it is essential or frivolous, but about some deeper issue which may or may not ever be resolved, like maybe I should get a bigger saw, such as a SKILSAW SPT70M-01 15 Amp 10.25 inch Magnesium SAWSQUATCH, which even has a worm drive. Concrete – watch out – here I come!

Now, I am willing to settle for the much smaller 3 inch saw. I still could do a lot of damage projects with it. Practical things, like cutting turkey at Thanksgiving. No matter the splatter, I could get it done fast and the guests could keep their ponchos as Thanksgiving souvenirs, It would be a meal they’d never forget, a real conversation topic! On the other hand (assuming I still have two), maybe I’d better stick to just ruining good lumber. Demolition would probably fit right in. You can forget about cutting uranium or plutonium.