A Writer’s Frustrations

“You should write a book, a humor book. After all, you like to make people laugh,” they said. I thought about it. I blog, so how much harder could it be?  Besides, NaNoWriMo 2018 -National Novel Writing Month  2018- was on its way, I needed to shape up.  One month isn’t very long when it comes to producing 50,000 words or more.  That’s a lot of words each day!

Because a writer has to be in good shape of mind to write that much that fast, I thought I’d give it a practice run, that is, start a novel now and see how I do. I’ve been keeping a log (or diary) to critique my progress.  Things may not always go that well, but at least I will know how I can improve.


My log entry for one day of this past week:

6:00 pm  Sitting down to write.  Goal: 3 pages.  Listened to Fleetwood Mac’s Can’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.  Am really stoked.  Going to make these three pages great, funny,  whatever…

6:30 pm  Still sitting here.  Nothing.  Creativity deader than a squashed frog. Will try to write some words down anyway.  That might lead to something.

7:00 pm Mishmash of words on computer screen.  Going to advise reader to read these three pages with lots of caffeine or other brain boosters to accentuate clarity of written word.

7:15 pm  If I don’t get this mash of words straightened out, I will need drugs myself.  Maybe six pack of beer will suffice or bottle of merlot.  Make that two bottles.

7:45 pm  Unable to write self out of a paper bag.  It’s dark in bag.

8:15 pm  Now more than two hours later. Words not talking to each other.  Have written several sentences,  maybe a whole paragraph.

8:30 pm  Paragraph doesn’t make sense.  Sentences tangled up.  Words hate each other.

8:45 pm  Words playing solitaire.  How to go on to next paragraph when the first one doesn’t work?

9:00 pm  First paragraph still fuzzy, not quite the way I want it.  Almost there…so will go on to next paragraph.

9:30 pm Second paragraph much longer than first. Words disorderly. Won’t convey message the way I want.  Words threatening mutiny.

9:45 pm  Working on third paragraph.  Pushing this through.  Not funny.  Looking for funny metaphor, none in sight.  Brain depleted of funny metaphors.


10:00 pm Fourth paragraph in sight.  Almost one frickin’ page completed. Found metaphor.  Grabbed it by its big toe and jammed it in there.  It’s funny now.

10:45 pm  Getting tired.  Working on fifth paragraph anyway.  Almost one page done.  Hole in paper bag. Lights are still on…outside of bag.

11:00 pm  5 hours to write one imperfect page.  Having hard time writing funny.  Looking for punchline for fifth paragraph.  Think punchline just hit me in the face.

11:15 pm  Trying to do word count.  Words won’t sit still.  Maybe should just count sentences and not drink entire bottle of wine.

11:30 pm Still writing first paragraph of second page.  Maybe should write poem instead.  Then would have good excuse for disorganized syntax.

11:45 pm  Still considering poem.  Could make it short.  Might settle for Haiku and then go to bed.

12:00 Midnight  Eyelids heavy.  Feel like sandbags.  Going on Twitter.  Expect reading angry Tweets to wake me up.

12:30 am  Tweets waste of time.  Going to outline paragraph.

1:00 am Lost in my mind.  Might be dreaming. Still looking for beginning sentence of new paragraph. It’s in there somewhere…

1:15 am Sat in chair asleep.

1:30 am Gave up.  Going to bed.  Need sleep to write.

3:30 am Insomnia.  Transposing words and sentences in my dreams,  I think that’s what I am doing.

4:00 am  Finally asleep….maybe.

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