I just got back from a visit to my doctor. All went well. We even managed to say the right things to each other.
Now I’m very wary of doctors, and I wonder…what if my doctor or surgeon had said the wrong things? So I’ve compiled a short list (I like my lists to be short) of things nobody wants to hear their doctor or surgeon say. And here they are:
- Oops!
- Whoaaa! Would you look at the size of that!
- That thing’s big enough to eat Detroit!
- Damn thing keeps wiggling…
- Did I do that?
- I’ve never seen one like that before…
- She’ll never know the difference…
- Check her id bracelet? What for?
- Let’s see…was it on the right or the left side?
- The robot malfunctioned…
- You don’t have one of those anymore
- You’re gonna need a lot more work…
- Well, at least you’re alive…
- You’ve lived long enough…doesn’t matter anymore
- You’re 42 years old now. Your life is over. (Honest, I did have a doctor say that to me. He’s been dead for a few years now….)
Now I know doctors are only human, but for the life of me, I wish they would watch what they say.
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