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My Doctor Said What? by Maggie Millus

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I just got back from a visit to my doctor.  All went well. We even managed to say the right things to each other.

 

Now I’m very wary of doctors, and I wonder…what if my doctor or surgeon had said the wrong things? So I’ve compiled a short list  (I like my lists to be short) of things nobody wants to hear their doctor or surgeon say.  And here they are:

 

  • Oops!

 

  •  Whoaaa!  Would you look at the size of that!

 

  • That thing’s big enough to eat Detroit!

 

  • Damn thing keeps wiggling…

 

  • Did I do that?

 

 

  • I’ve never seen one like that before…

 

  • She’ll never know the difference…

 

  • Check her id bracelet?  What for?

 

  • Let’s see…was it on the right or the left side?

 

  • The robot malfunctioned…

 

 

  • You don’t have one of those anymore

 

  • You’re gonna need a lot more work…

 

  • Well, at least you’re alive…

 

  • You’ve lived long enough…doesn’t matter anymore

 

  • You’re 42 years old now.  Your life is over. (Honest, I did have a doctor say that to me.  He’s been dead for a few years now….)

 

 

Now I know doctors are only human, but for the life of me, I wish they would watch what they say.

 

 

 

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