I hate stupidity. I could say that stupid people drive me nuts but I’m not nuts or crazy (yes, there is a difference). So I’ll just have to say, I have no tolerance for stupid people.
For example: The other day my principal got a phone call from an irate parent (to those of you who don’t know me, I teach science in a well-moneyed urban high school). The complaint: The student’s mother said I showed my students chicken porn. I replied to the charge, ”Dr. Smartz (not his real name), I showed absolutely no pictures of any chickens fornicating or much less masturbating.”
“Well,” he replied, “you must have shown them something. She definitely said the chickens were naked. ” Hmmmm, naked chickens. That’s what it’s about. A naked chicken. I was going to ask was it a frontal nude or a fanny shot, but I was trying to avoid the proverbial white slip (warning) or even worse, a pink slip (meaning you are so out of here!).
Yes, I did show a photo of a naked chicken, in other words, it was featherless. But this featherless chicken was a transgenic chicken meaning it was some poor fowl whose genes (and soon to be, eggs) were scrambled by some sadistic molecular geneticist.
“Yes, Dr. Smartz,” I finally admitted. “The bird was indeed butt naked. I won’t show the picture ever again.”
“Good,” he nodded. “ And by the way, no pictures of hairless cows or monkeys either!”
So for all of you who don’t want to see a butt naked chicken’s bare behind or otherwise, here is a paper doll of a transgenic chicken. You can cut out its clothes and cover its naked little ass to your heart’s content!
(And yes, I know, there is more than one way to dress a chicken!)
Drawing by Maggie Millus
