Malaise by Maggie Millus

If there was a virus for causing procrastination, I’d say we’ve all been infected. But I like to look at both sides of an issue, or in this case, a condition. I’ve never thought of putting off things as bad as long as I was the one doing it.  Now if it’s anyone else, that’s another story.   Here are a few examples of good and bad procrastination.


Good procrastination.  You didn’t pull out into the intersection as soon as the light   turned green.  You and your car are still intact.


Bad.  You didn’t treat that yeast infection.  Now you are making bread.


Good.  You’ve just been stopped by a Georgia trooper on I-95 for doing 95 in a 70 mile an hour zone. His hat makes him look like Smokey the Bear.  You want to ask, “Did you  guys put out the fire?”  But you didn’t.


Bad.  The dog is doing the cha cha. You ask your kid to take it outside. She doesn’t. Soon the dog is leaving brown streaks on your living room rug. You tell your kid again, “Take the dog out!”   Still no response.  Now you need a shovel.


Good.  You didn’t shoot a bird at the guy tailgating your behind and blowing his horn. Good thing because there’s red light ahead and he has an arrest record for road rage and battery.


Bad.  You should have had that strange looking patch of flakey skin checked out by a dermatologist.  But you didn’t.   Now you’re halfway to total decomposition and a body farm.


Good.  You were starving but you still didn’t stop to eat at that greasy spoon. You just drove on by.  Today it headlined the  news with 8 new cases of Salmonella.


Bad.  You didn’t call the doctor about that bladder twinge.  Now it’s two days later on a  Friday night. Need I say more?



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